She told me she wanted me in her life just not in a Right now it's a lot of extreme self-loathing, for her looks, lack of motivation and apparent laziness. And then one day, out of desperation, I called one friend I still kinda saw from time to time, and in a heartbeat, she was there for me. Keep reading to find out more about how to help someone with BPD, how to communicate with them, and ways you can take care of yourself in the process. Get in better shape, learn some skills, earn some $, excel at school, get invovled in a sport, meet other people, etc. She cannot continue living with needing validation from others. It is difficult to not only deal with, but actively battle, even for me, every day. These days we bicker probably 3/4 times a week. She is constantly getting me things, doesn't mind watching my dog while im working/ with friends, and she is NEVER aggressive. Typical syndrome traits – which were all red flags from even the first date, and she even told me early she was on medication, seeing help and was “broken and damaged”. I usually leave at the first argument. You are not "being driven", those are symptoms of BPD (fear of abandonment, overthinking). MembersOnline. She was and still is most She's insecure and often compares herself to me, and she keeps bringing up her exes even though I told her I'm uncomfortable. Nov 21, 2022 · People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. 6 years together and doing everything (bills, shopping, pet care, left my family and friends for her) and when I told her to stop abusing me, she left and in a moment of “BPD Mania” cheated on me with a stranger. She'll go to her parents. Hey guys, my girlfriend has just been diagnosed with BPD and I don't know what's going on. My girlfriend told me that recently she's been under a lot of stress from work (most stressed I've ever seen her) and that she's reached a point where she's just so exhausted and stressed in all aspects of her life to the point where she had to sit me down and tell me that she doesn't even know if she loves me anymore and she doesnt know if she wants the relationship anymore but she knows that "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I am seeing a therapist. She has not been diagnosed (at least not recently, a few years ago I believe BPD was mentioned to her), but I'm about 99. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. she is the best thing in my life but sometimes shes a little much. « on: May 22, 2024, 03:16:49 PM ». Unfortunately from the age of 13 till 19 she was in a physically and sexually abusive relationship (he had in turn been abused by his father, it really is all just cycles, isn't it Make sure everyone knows that y’all broke up. So let me set the scene my ex, let’s call her Lisa, and I dated for around 2 months around the end of 2023. I'm very much in… If your GF is a pwBPD (person with BPD), she likely loves you too. After that I tried texting her on whatsapp because that was the last thing could do. This means she will occasionally flip -- in only seconds -- from Jekyll (adoring you) to Hyde (devaluing or hating you). Apr 25, 2019 · 1. BPD or not, she is still accountable for her behavior- it's simply not acceptable and you shouldn't stand for it. Jan 9, 2013 · Re: Girlfriend has BPD and its destroying me. #1. My best friend has a few mental disorders, one of them being Schizophrenic. Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. I told her I wouldn't block her ever because there is no need. She says she wants to try to stick it out with me. My girlfriend I’ve known for 6 years. 8 During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. Feb 27, 2018. Until now I would've never guessed that there's anything 'wrong' with her, and now this. I remember the content she sent me when were dating and she was all smiles, eyes lit up, and happy In those. Of course everyone is a bit different and this is only what I think She said "I need to get something off my chest, I have Borderline Personality disorder. We made it official about 2 weeks ago and just yesterday she revealed to me that she also has bpd, ( Lucky Me ) I’ve seen no Apr 19, 2016 · Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out. Edit: In the beginning of the relationship she told me that her ex had bpd and that it was an extremely troubling relationship. If you have “read receipts” on your text messages, turn them off so she doesn’t know you read anything. I agree with what others have stated and therapy will be helpful for both. She told me right from the start that she has BPD and is in DBT therapy for it. God I am so freaking tired of it. I asked what was happening and begged her to respond and she finally did. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disor Getting yourself well, for yourself (not anyone else). Their spouse is left with all the responsibilities when their partner cannot meet them. My girlfriend of 4 months has BPD. She wishes we could drink together. Best way to handle it would be to encourage therapy for depression or anxiety. Her mother has told me this and she has even admitted it herself. She thinks my sister is obsessed with me because she said she would date me if I wasn't her brother. Hi, I've been together with my gf for about 3 months and last week she told me she has BPD, afterwards she cried. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist who treats patients with BPD, explains: People with borderline feel empty, and they are always trying to Posted by u/Gravity53 - 1 vote and 9 comments Hi, so I've been seeing this girl with BPD for a few months now and over the last few weeks she has told me that when we fight, she has intrusive thoughts about killing me. We've been together for 3 and half years already and we just discovered her BPD last week. I attributed many of her questionable actions to her being affected by her previous relationship. Hope this helps. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. etc. I am also sure she has feelings for another man she just met at work, which she doesn't deny. Any way, I need help. Only a professional can determine that. But looking back now I realise she essentially told me she had BPD through the symptoms, but didn't use that term, as I don't think she understands herself enough. We argue a lot. But I do in fact know that she wants me. When we lived together temporarily for 2 months we would argue almost daily. She says she loves me but she wants to separate from me because she can't stand the arguments. It feels to me like she projected her insecurities onto you, and those insecurities are now growing in your mind because you know how serious she is about looks. However, I think I just worried myself a bit. I love her very much, even though I know my feelings will never quite be reciprocated by her, I was aware this would be an issue before I got together with her. Yes I watched. Sometimes feeling like chores are piling up can add to stress. In september she (F24) left me (M26) for somebody else. i used to get angry at her, but now i understand that she cant help it. I told her I was worried that the people watching were going to call the police as they seem to be thinking of My girlfriend is extremely stubborn. Feb 27, 2018 · 2. Learn about treatments and support. I told her we needed to take a break. That conversation went from you trying to reassure her, to you realizing she has compared you to her ex and decided that he is the more attractive partner. So, I've been dating this girl for a couple months. The things I relate the most to are splitting (which has been under control for like two months), possibly having an FP (herself), and the self-esteem issues/difficulty with enforcing boundaries. Instead, I'm suggesting you consider whether she may be a person with strong BPD symptoms (i. You aren't a professional, and whilst you may have witnessed behaviour inline with BPD, there could be something else going on. My ex had bpd and it was a nightmare , now I’m with this new girl that I really like and I’ve been seeing for a few months. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver And she says she feels awful about it but also she blames the ptsd and bpd on all the shit she does to me. I know my sister would never think of actually dating me like bruh and i would never date my own sister. This was before she knew she had BPD. in most She blocked my number, then blocked me on instagram. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost, and every time you lie to her "for her sake," you're only doing more damage by reinforcing that her behavior will get her what she wants. Like the title says, she just told me she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Try to bend around triggers, work away her stress points and set boundaries. Maybe I've normalized all of my expectations to her, so it doesn't feel like anything special by now. May 23, 2024 · Set healthy boundaries. Your girlfriend has a personality disorder. e. Do not talk to her unless you are recording it and save all the communication in case she tries to blackmail you or set you up. Literally only that. It is very tough having a partner with BPD or any mental health condition because they usually do need the extra reassurance (not all though). Me finding out is what got the break up ball rolling), but This actually makes so much sense to me. But it’s hard because I have an intense fear of cheating so now im scared that every time shes out late I think she’s cheating and now I’m actually afraid she’s having some sort She just told me she has BPD. Because when it’s good it’s amazing and everyone is happy. Hello im writing this in my 5th period actually , Im 16 years old, i got with my girlfriend around 10 months ago, we were both 15 and now were 16. TheLexus_. I am not always in the middle of an episode. Validation is important but remember that you are also a person and your boundaries and needs matter too. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but she agreed. Very graphic stuff. Realistically, much more. Your mother stepping in is helpful too. I told her that the solution would be for her not to treat me this way. At least once a day she becomes completely uncontrollable and threatens self harm and suicide every time. 2. The problem is, it still bothered me. Please understand, a relationship is not the answer . I am running a lot of projects and it seems as if every time I get busy, she feels abandoned and starts a fight just to get my attention. When she told me that, I knew I was making her resent me. I've been in a relationship with my BPD fiancee for 7 years now and yesterday she told me that she does not love me anymore. After that night she expressed that she doesn’t know if she wants to be in a committed relationship or not. Check in regularly. we knew each other's whole pasts, all our relationships, all the skeletons in the closet, the highs and the So, my girlfriend of approximately one year (who has Borderline Personality Disorder among other emotional/mental issues brought upon by both her unconventional childhood / parents and the lifestyle choices she has made and situations she has since put herself in) cheated on me three times while I was incarcerated (45 days in county jail). Importantly, I'm not suggesting your GF has full-blown BPD. ADVERTISEMENT. She means the world to me and I hate when she feels this bad :(. But she doesn't seem ready. With my BPD, sometimes I go to my parents first too when I have issues, just to make sure it's not just my emotions going too overboard in the moment and so I can calm myself down before I discuss with my girlfriend. Tony, I suggest you see a psychologist to obtain a professional opinion on what you're dealing with. my girlfriend and i have been best friends for ~6 years, have been dating for around 5 months and have been official for close to 2 months. She told me she was trying to make some courage to text me and said she wanted to break up with me. Be patient. No I didn’t masturbate to it. 4. My concern is that the 4 behaviors described above are red flags for BPD (borderline personality disorder), which my exW has. Me and my partner both have BPD. She told me she's afraid that it might affect me too in the future. She has admitted to sleeping with 20+ people. Be clear and consistent. She called me about half an hour after I sent my message. I have a girlfriend that is diagnosed with BPD. She was not the greatest person for much of her earlier years. Vote. But with you, I didn't want it to end. If you know 15 girls want to date you, one of which is the long-distance GF, your sense of loss will be much less than if you only think of the one. I think she has some kind of mental issues such as BPD or bi-polar. 9% sure she has BPD. Especially if she has BPD traits, telling her that she might have BPD could not go over very well. But since I’m her “favorite” person I experience all the different views she has of me. We took a trip to Florida together sleeping Okay, so my girlfriend has BPD, but it isn't too severe, as in sometimes she can tell when she is Splitting, or whether or not its something she REALLY wants. My girlfriend of 2. Reply. Idk I’ve never been in a relationship like this before. But now that she told it might actually begin Set clear boundaries. Honestly, I would break up with her. my (18nonbinary) girlfriend (18f) and i have been dating for 3 months and shortly after we had started dating i met her best friend, they’ve been friends for 13 years since childhood and they’ve been friends long enough to see each other go through things like diagnosis/testing for ADHD and things, my girlfriend told me she was diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, depression, ADHD, anxiety, etc, all So my girlfriend has BPD. The fear of not hearing from someone leads to immensely painful emotions. My best friend and I of 11 years (me 24, her 24, met at 13) decided to start dating. by AmorousDestruction » Fri May 23, 2014 1:47 pm. Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. We have been together for almost four months now and we both have been happy. Than one day she told me she was moving out because she needed time. Meanwhile, if she wants to contact you, let her. Make sure you tell and believe yourself AND mean this: I will stay with this person, for better or worse. I’m in love with a girl and i think she has BPD. . She is suffering at least as bad as you do. for some backstory, she was a girl ive had eyes on for MONTHSS and we r/BPDlovedones. Dr. It also shows you're there without being invasive. She was my first girlfriend and I loved her with all my heart. Also we're Long… I've been in a relationship with a girl for around 4 months now, and I'm very happy. Which I understand. She's awesome, and for the first time in years I feel as if I can finally be real with someone. " She also tells me she doesn't know ADMIN MOD. She proceeded to follow me, yelling and screaming. Part of me wishes she tried to stop me, but I know it is what's best for her. It still can be emotionally exhausting, but i feel that its worth it. The first thing she told me when we started dating was her insane mood swings. Exactly. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. She processed to call me horrible names and throw things. Just today she was showing me old pictures on her snapchat and she told me she wasn't deleting a video of her cat even though her ex is in it, which is completely understandable. She'd tell me she loves me through text with simple "ily" messages, but her feelings don't reach me. Shortly after that was my first BPD episode with her! It lasted a few months, during that time I learned a lot about BPD from non stop google searches everyday. She told me that I don't have to worry about it, because she has never acted on it and whenever she is doing good - she literally could not bring herself I tried to text her and she told me to block her. She does not know or believe she has bpd, even though she's recently been going to therapy. " This morning I did some research and am quite nervous being that for stage 1 it is 100 percent what I am going through with her right now. She says, "You know, I've tried. I asked her what was wrong and she kind of just told me that if she kept going on with this conversation she was going to make it "more of a big deal" which I don't really understand. My concern is that the 4 behaviors I described above all are red flags for BPD (borderline personality disorder), which my exW has. She told me that she felt unloved and that I didn’t have more time for her (full time job + college at weekendy). Perspective Needed. When she was going through what BPD sufferers do and experience, it didn't surprise me that she has this disorder. That has a The BPD responded to both as if we had dated 10 years ago and that her life was great (her entire family situation and life was a royal mess just months earlier, mind you). ) She left me yesterday after a 9 month long relationship, out of the blue. Her reasons have changed from "her being so young, wanting to explore, getting cold feet in the relationship, implying she wants to date other people". Always listen and sympathize with the person, don't try and offer advice unless specifically asked. My exwBPD told me that a few months prior to dumping me she had been bored with me despite our weekly arguments and it was as if she was telling me she stuck it out with me for the long run even though she was "bored" of me. 5. Girlfriend of 2 weeks just told me she has bpd. Bonus: bring or make some food, do some chores for her, etc. When I sound fully competent and self-aware as I explain that I have borderline personality disorder, it doesn’t mean I don’t have BPD. Just to be clear, the single phone call and my responses back that I would respect her wishes but was super confused were my I told her I want her to quit smoking, but she always relapses. Since then I can’t move on. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame. It's not a good idea to tell her you think she has BPD. I just wish I would have gotten help sooner, because I had no idea I had BPD, and I wish I would have Every time we have a misunderstanding she won't tell me about it right away. Most of them she did, except she has never gotten ridiculously angry with me and she has never pushed me away. And now She’s extremely popular only Onlyfans and PH. After spending time with her incredibly toxic mother, who never liked me and has also never met me either time we dated, she decided to break up with me via phone call and get back together with her I've joined this subreddit because my (23M) girlfriend (19f) told me she thinks I have BPD. Communicate and learn about her triggers, stressfactors. To start, sorry about the wall of text. She then started a phone tree, told everyone the news, and they were all so relieved and supportive. She blocked me on every reachable platform of social media. It's really peculiar but I think you're definitely on to something. she seemed extremely supportive. Change their focus. Her OF she looks sad. It was so loud and aggressive that everyone on the street stopped to watch. however, she just told me she doesn't see us dating long term My girlfriend (34 f) and I (36 m) have been together for about 9 months. When I explain how bad I can get during an episode, I am not looking for sympathy and reassurance. For context we both live in different continents and the whole relationship is long distance but we have plans for seeing each other eventually. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to have major difficulties with relationships, especially with those closest to them. i think i’ll be okay (no more social media, just ungodly hours of stardew! the silly billy farm!) She even talked about our future, children, marriage, jobs etc. Jun 4, 2024 · BPD and relationships. I just really want her to know I am more than willing to be there for her 24/7. I really care about her and I want to make sure I approach this the best way I can. My BPD Girlfriend left me. , may be a "pwBPD"). If I didn’t know she has crazy mood swings I would’ve thought that she just isn’t into me because of the way she acts. so ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months and i told her about my bpd after getting into the relationship, im really insecure about it and the way i think and all so a week ago she came over and left in like 2hrs mind u i haven’t seen her in 3 months before that meeting, yesterday i told her that i got sad when she left early and she said (because you have bpd) …. She knows I don't like her drinking too, I can't drink. It even bothers me that she After we broke up, I went to therapy, and my own therapist called out that my ex-girlfriend met 8 of the 9 criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. My girlfriend is always mad at me and makes everything my fault, i need help. I was helping her in every possible way I could. From day one, put in your head you are married with her, even if you aren't. ADMIN MOD. as someone that suffers from depression, anxiety and panic disorder, I know that Maybe just give her the space. She has not been diagnosed, but both me and her are certain she has a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She told me she has BPD, and my brother who studied psychology also pointed out BPD on his own when I just talked about her recently. i’m currently trying to handle a manic episode right now; i suffered two major panick attacks within 48 hours. My "girlfriend" just told me she has Borderline Personality Disorder. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). From what I´ve read and what she´s told me, its basically like bipolarity but the mood changes are way more frecuent, like she can go from extremely in love with someone (me) to bored in a matter of 4 days. You cannot give and receive love with another person until your are in a healthy place in which you can love yourself. So last week I just diagnosed with bpd, she’s my online friend, she helped to go through all of this, once I diagnosed n i told her, she disappeared, she’s now ignoring my texts since a week, she a already had her FP, but they’re not having any mental illness as I do, she moved on to another city, once she arrived, she stooped talking to every person she’s been feel uncomfortable with I could tell that this had upset her due to the way her typing style had changed. Me and my most amazing girlfriend both have BPD and are together for half a year now and started very early to revolve both our lifes around the You’re my first girlfriend so I just don’t think this is my last relationship and I’m okay with dealing with some heart break so I can go and do whatever I want” I was in tears, I didn’t understand, I told her that she must be splitting (this made her angry) and I told her that she has put me through swings like this multiple times This girl is mildly toxic imo. I'm sorry for what you are going through dude, as I said in my last response I highly relate to your situation. I guess I didn't realise until recently, but living with and loving someone Anyway, I had lost touch with so many friends because of that relationship. I reacted calmly and told her she was scaring me. She has BPD (Borderline personality disorder) and her mood does switch from one mood to the other without a moments notice, but she tells me she loves me, but other times she will just sit in silence and act like im not even there (as I'm writing this post for example). Quiet Borderlines. It's the same when we have to see her family. My girlfriend has BPD. We weren’t too serious till 3 years ago, it wasn’t until 2 years ago where she expressed to me that she has BPD. She just looked so so sad in the photos and videos. I do believe that the therapy has to be working, because from all accounts. I used to be a lot like how your gf acts when I was younger. Borderline personality dissorder sucks. 3. A pwBPD is capable of loving you very intensely -- but it is the very immature type of love you see in young children. I also don't think she's attracted to me at all, and she might have been keeping me around out of loneliness. She then told me she would block me and she did. i don’t think she My girlfriend is extremely stubborn. This has been going on for about 2 years now and I am so freaking tired of this shit. May 22, 2024 · Posts: 1. Dr Google doesn't always get it right. My girlfriend has BDP and I hate it. Hii, someone who has BPD here. i’ve been experiencing a scary sensation of psychosis for three years. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. I think someone told me she has like 8M+ views. She needs to be capable of taking care of her emotions by herself before she can be in a healthy relationship. Offer constructive criticism. I [20M] am dating a woman [23F]. she knew that she was my fp (for a number of years) and i did my best to explain what that means for her and how it could affect our friendship/relationship. In her eyes, the only solution to the situation was to break up so she wouldn't hurt me anymore. •. She's already trying to start a relationship with a new guy (already has, really. She is usually in a bad mood before and after they visit. I am still having a hard time whenever she is acting on her BPD and even if I know that she cannot control it and it's not her fault, I still find it hard to keep my temper Ive been with my (now ex) girlfriend with BPD for 6 years and I’m here today, writing on a new profile to talk about it. Keep it simple, use simple terms to talk about her "symptoms," try to avoid clinical terms, and just talk to her about how her behaviours are not helpful and what she might try instead. it fucking sucks, but for some reason, i seem to love life a little bit more. She admits she's primarily responsible for them. Again, this can create chronic stress, and The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver BPD Gf is really draining me out. She said that she knows she has hurt me and that she is a monster in my eyes, but she knows that she's NOT. She said she felt this way for several months and that she still cares about me a lot. I really care about her, and don't want to bail "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I would love to support you if you can tell me how”. She accused me of controlling her and trying to change her. Most of the time when she brings up her ex it bothers me and I don't want to be like this anymore. But now I can't take it anymore, it hurts too much physically and mentally. I love you and I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk. And I was like “well that’s kinda fun, it makes relationships more fun” MORE FUN MY ASS Apr 16, 2022 · When a spouse or partner with BPD is experiencing low energy or is in the throes of a depressive phase, they may be unable to work or help manage other aspects of the household like caring for children or the home. Text her a “hey, it seems you want space so I want to respect that. I´ve known her since we were 8 and My kids have told me that they don't visit us as often because she acts strange around them. 5 years just broke up with me and moved out. We had our share of difficulties (which resulted in a relationship pause) which led to us not seeing each other for four weeks. (She is officially diagnosed with BPD. so i can see how they can relate more with mental things more than me (im completely mentally stable). I originally posted about this on relationship advice but that wasnt much help :( My gf and I have been… Posted by u/Oferial - 1 vote and 4 comments I would just like to know if I should be wary of what I speak to her about, if there are things i should not bring up like my or hers past, neither is great as you can imagine. fz te lt vi nj fe fk in so eq